i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I understand Curling. That high.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
