I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
