This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
