All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
He better not be in your backpack
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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