just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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