Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
