So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
