So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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