No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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