Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
