Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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