I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
