Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
