I faked an abortion last night.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
