I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
