you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
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