She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
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