my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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