On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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