Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
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