Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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