Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I just blew my weed a kiss
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
