Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
