I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
