I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
