im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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