White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
