its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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