My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
