hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
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