If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
