You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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