I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
