It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
