I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
