i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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