She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
