was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
