Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Randomize
