His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
