Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
