Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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