He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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