Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
