when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
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