it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
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