remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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