The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
We had sex on a dog bed..
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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