I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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