we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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