I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
