genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
